


How you get the girl

by Hediyehosseini



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, Light Angst, Minor Dean Winchester/Other(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:13:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hediyehosseini/pseuds/Hediyehosseini
Summary: The first time Dean Winchester meets Castiel, she falls out of a tree and crashes on him and his brand new bike. the rest, as they say, is history.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 21
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I always wanted to write an AU destiel fic with gender swap, so here we are!  
> I hope you guys enjoy this fic.

**September 18, 1987**

The first time Dean Winchester meets Castiel, she falls out of a tree and crashes on him and his brand new bike. He's eight, she's seven. He takes it as well as any boy would when they realize their most precious possession has been ruined by a girl in curly pig tails.

"What he hell?" he yells, pushing her off into a pile of leaves beneath the tree so he can assess the damage.

Dean tries to bend the handle bars back into shape as she looms behind him. "You broke your bicycle."

Dean jumps three feet into the air. "No, _you_ did!" He shouts, dropping the bike in frustration.

"What the hell where you doing up in that tree anyway?"

The girl picks a leaf off her sweater, “I don't see how that's any of your concern,” she says, “and don't use the H word.”

"Whatever,” Dean closes his eyes in frustration, “you owe me a new bike.”

To his utmost surprise, she doesn't argue with him. "Wait here," she orders before running across the yard into her house. Figuring she's running away, Dean picks up his broken bicycle up and starts walking it down the sidewalk.

"Hey!" He turns around to see her running after him, leaves falling out of her unruly hair.

"This is all I have." Coins rattle inside when she shoves a pink piggy bank into his hands.

The pig is heavy but he can still hear the clang of coins inside, so it‟s not completely full. Still, he's surprised she's just giving it to him.

"What's your name?"

She straightens herself out and sticks out a tiny hand, there's dirt underneath her fingernails and a scrape on the inside of her wrist but when she speaks it's formal, like she's introducing herself to the Queen. “I am Castiel.”

Dean scrunches up his face. He's never heard a name more ridiculous.

"Castiel?" he laughs,

"What kind of name is that?"

"It's after the angel of Thursday!" she starts after him, daring him to make fun.

"Yeah, that doesn't make it any better," Dean scoffs. "I'm Dean." He doesn't tell her he was named after his grandmother, because really, what eight year old boy wants to admit that?

"Hello, Dean," she says with a slight nod of the head. Thinking the sooner he gets away from her, the better, Dean walks his bike home with one hand while carrying the piggy bank in the other, dreading what his dad will say as he walks up the driveway. His father's back's turned away as he does maintenance on the family Impala. Slowly, as though sensing trouble, he stands up and turns around. Looking at Dean and then the bike, his lips turn down.

"I thought we talked about this," John Winchester says, wiping his hands off on a dirty rag,

"You're supposed to take care of your things.”

"I was!" Dean knows it's bad to talk back to his dad, but it wasn't like it was his fault.

"Why is it broken then?" John asks, taking bike from Dean to assess the damage. When Dean doesn't answer the question immediately, he asks again.

Slowly, Dean replies, looking down at his feet. "I was riding back from Victor's house and I stopped for just a second to tie my shoe and that's um, when it happened."

"When what happened?" John repeats, patient yet firm and Dean knows his dad won't ask again and he'll be in trouble.

Dean looks his father dead in the eye. "I was kamikazeed."

"Kamikazeed, huh?" John repeats blankly, scratching his beard. "By the Japanese?"

"Worse," Dean confesses. "A girl.” He thinks about it for a moment before adding, “It'd be better if it was the Japanese, at least they have cool swords.” Not to mention kick ass karate moves. Dean doubts Castiel has either of those things.

Dean's not expecting his father to begin chuckling, but that's exactly what he happens. "I guess that explains the piggy bank,” pointing to the object in Dean's hand. “Did you take that from her?”

"She gave it to me!" Dean claims, tucking it under his arm. “Fair and square.”

John shakes his head. “Sorry, son, but you're gonna have to give it back.”

"I know," Dean lets out a petulant sigh. “There's probably not enough in it to buy a new bike anyway.”

"Come on, Dean,” John orders, putting the hood down and gesturing Dean to get inside the car while he puts Dean's bike in the garage.

"What about my bike?" Dean asks worriedly looking at his favorite object in the universe as his dad gets into the car.

“We'll think of something,” John promises and turns on the radio.

They don't talk on the way to Castiel's house except for Dean's instructions on how to get there.  
He thinks about lying and saying he doesn't know which house it is, but he also knows he'll be caught and punished. When they park, John just looks at him until Dean opens his door and gets out; John following as Dean goes up the path to the front door.

John stands behind Dean while he nervously rings the door bell. The door swings open and a young, skinny black boy answers. He's an inch or two taller than Dean, but Dean figures he has more weight on him so he can probably take him in a fight. He's obviously older than Dean though by at least three years if Dean has to guess, so this may be an issue.

"Are you the kid who took Castiel's money?" the kid glares at Dean, not giving a damn his dad is standing behind him.

If there was one thing Dean hates, it's being called a thief. Once, Victor thought he took his Fruit Roll Up and they didn't speak for a week. "She gave it to me!"

Unfortunately, this turns out to be the wrong thing to say. The boy turns and yells, "Michael! Gabriel!" and as quick as lightning, two boys came running down the stairs, right as Castiel comes from out of nowhere, playing catch with an apple. One boy is rather short and Dean thinks he might recognize him from school, and the older one could be the Incredible Hulk if it weren't for the fact he's not green. There's no denying their resemblance to each other or to Castiel, though her hair is darker and curlier.

"What is it, Raphael?" the short boy asks. Behind them, Castiel waves to Dean and takes a bite of her apple. Unable to stop himself, he waves back.

"Dean" John says, nudging on Dean's back with his hand, ""Dean," John says, nudging on Dean's back with his hand, "Give the girl her pig."

“I don't want it,” Castiel frowns, but the oldest brother shakes his head.

“Cas, we've talked about this,” he's rather soft spoken for a giant.

“But Michael,” Castiel whine is muffled by her mouth full of apple.

Michael ignores his little sister's pleas, turning to John and Dean. “I'm Sorry, Mr…?"

“John Winchester,” John replies, shaking the boy's hand. “This is my oldest son Dean.”

“Hello,” Dean says politely trying to look anywhere but at Castiel, who's staring at him like she's trying to read his mind, and the short boy who keeps popping caramels into his mouth, seeming to take great pleasure in Dean's discomfort. The black boy is also there, lingering and watching with a masked expression. He's not even close to double digits yet and he's already a dead man.

 _Dean's life officially sucks_.

John, however, is laughing. “You're Michael Paradis, I think my wife and I saw you play last week at the park. You're very good. I tried to get Dean interested in baseball but he never went past Teeball.”

“Thank you sir,” Michael replies, eyes sparkling at the compliment, “This is my brother Gabriel.”

“Hiya,” Gabriel grins, tossing another caramel into his mouth.

Michael continues, “Our foster brother, Raphael,” the black kid nods, “and our sister, Castiel.”

“Hello, Mr. Winchester,” Castiel greets, politely putting her hand out for John to shake. John smiles down at the little girl as he envelopes her hand in his.

“Hello, Castiel,” John matches her formality and Dean can't help but gape at the display.

“Here,” Dean puts the piggy bank on the in table. The sooner he gives it back, the sooner he can get out of there. “Can we go now, dad?”

“Michael, honey, have you taken out of the trash yet?” a sweet sounding woman asks, coming in from the sliding glass door leading out to the back yard. Seeing John, she stops and smiles.

“John!”

“Missouri,” John replies, striding over to give the woman a hug. “I thought this house looked familiar. We just came by so Dean could see Castiel.”

“Oh,” Missouri says, wiping dirt onto her apron. “I see. Well would you two like something to drink?”

“Iced tea if you have it,” John smiles, turning to Dean, “Dean, you can go play while Missouri and I catch up.”

“Let's go to the park,” Raphael suggests, grabbing a catcher's mitt off the arm chair and catching the woman's eyes for permission. She gives him a sharp nod but gives Castiel a warning look.

“Don't forget you're grounded young lady, I know it was you who broke that window.”

“I don't want to go to the stupid park anyway,” Castiel pouts for a moment before turning to Dean, “I have the latest Batman, would you like to see it?”

And that is how Dean ends up in Castiel's bedroom, reading Batman with her while his dad chats with the woman downstairs. He's never been in a girl's room before, but it looks just like he thought it would, with purple walls and stuffed animals and a dollhouse in the corner. The only thing that makes it bearable are the comic books on her bookshelf and the action figures on her dresser and a George Brett poster on the wall. It's actually a lot like Dean's room, only with more clothes on the floor.

“So, you, uh live here?”

“Yes,” Castiel flips the page, “My brothers and I, are orphans and Missouri took us in when I was a baby.”

Dean doesn't know what to say other than, “Oh.”

Thankfully, Castiel changes the subject quickly. “Now, Dean, if we're going to be friends, there's something I need to know.” Dean frowns. _Friends? With her_? He's almost about to say "who says I want to be friends with you‟ when she continues. “What's your favorite baseball team?” She asks it like she's asking a question of life and death.

“The Royals?” Dean answers, hesitantly.

“Me too!” she beams. “My birthday party's this weekend, would you like to come?”

The last girl's birthday party Dean went to was Lilith White's and she'd thrown a tantrum about not getting the right colored pony, but there's something about Castiel that makes him think this one will be different, so he says yes.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean is right, Cas' party is different. For one thing, there are no ponies. However, there are a lot of kids from school, mostly from Cas' class and her brothers' friends. When Gabriel comes in wearing a black cape and a top hat, Cas demands he sit next to her while her brother pulls a white bunny out of the hat. After which, Castiel praises both the brother and the rabbit for a job well done. When a boy from Cas' class comes and asks Dean if he wants to play with them outside, Dean follows them out and runs around, pretending to shoot zombies in the face.

“Your girlfriend is staring at you,” a kid named Duanne informs Dean. Dean stops, narrowing his eyes at the other kid.

“Shut up!” _No way is Castiel his girlfriend_.

“Don't kiss her,” Duanne warns, “You'll get cooties!” He takes Dean's hand and starts drawing two overlapping circles with his finger nails, all the while saying the magic words, “Circle, circle, dot dot now you have your cootie shot.” Dean sighs, relieved. He's safe now from girl germs.

“Dean and Castiel, sitting in a tree,” another kid sings songs, “K.I.S.S.I.N.G”

“Shut up!” Dean's surprised when the words don't come from his own mouth, but Cas'. She pulls on Dean's sleeve. “Come on, Dean.”

He goes with her, partly because he's tired and hot, but mostly because she's not giving him a choice. It's to his benefit though because it's time for cake. All the kids gather around the dining table while Missouri brings out an cake shaped like the Batmobile, with eight yellow candles lit up.

“Make a wish, Casafras!” Gabriel urges, his rabbit, whose name Dean learns is Marshmallow, pokes his white head out from his jacket, nose twitching.

Castiel frowns at the flames, considering them as if her wish is a matter of life and death. Dean has a suspicion this might be a common theme with the girl. She takes a deep breath, blowing out the candles in one blow. Dean's suitably impressed, most kids her size need at least two breaths to blow out every candle. Her brothers squeeze her into a hug, ruffling her already messy hair.

The cake itself is chocolate, with a layer of vanilla ice cream inside. When Cas devours hers and then eats two more pieces, Dean is even more impressed.

After the cake, it's time to open presents. Cas is ever diligent about opening her presents. She doesn't waste time making sure the wrapping paper is taken off neatly, but she doesn't rip into it either. She reads the cards, money quickly going into her piggy bank beside her. Actual presents are piled beside her carelessly until Raphael starts organizing them.

“Superman”?” she asks, holding the video up, glaring at the room.

“Oh!” a woman cheers, “I know how much you love superheroes!”

“Cas, say thank you,” Missouri tells her, but Cas just keeps glaring at the woman.

“Oh hey!” Michael claps his hands, “Open my present next,” he trades her his wrapped box for the Superman movie, hands it to Gabriel who hands it to Raphael who hides it out of sight while Cas opens her gift. It's a Scarecrow action figure and judging by the way she jumps up and throws her arms around Michael's waist, she loves it. Then she sits back down finishes opening up the rest of her presents.

Later, Cas is dancing her sugar high off with some of the other girls to Madonna while he and some of the other boys watch horrified on the couch, he takes the chance and asks her. “So you don't like Superman?”  
Castiel answers with a tight lipped, “No,” and she continues dancing.

Okay then, Dean thinks, jumping off the couch to get away before she makes him dance with her. This is good information to know.

When Dean's mom picks him up most of the other kids have left and the only ones still there are  
Gabriel's friends who are all watching Gabe do card tricks. Dean thanks Cas for inviting him and despite his initial misgivings of her, tells Cas she should sit next to him at lunch.

“Aww,” Gabriel croons while his friends laugh alongside him. “Casafras has a boooooyfriend.”

“Shut up!” Dean and Castiel yell in unison. Further embarrassed, Dean runs out of the house and jumps into his mom's car as fast as he can.

Dean forgets that he invited Castiel to sit with them at lunch until she plops down next to him and opens her Royal's lunch box. “Hello, Dean,” she says, “Hello, Dean's friends.”

“Hi?” Victor guesses, giving Dean a "Who is this?" look as he empties his brown paper sack.  
Castiel eyes his lunch.

“Would you like to trade sandwiches? I don't like Turkey, and you're not eating yours,” Cas notes, offering her lunch to Victor.

“I hate bologna,” Victor groans, making the trade. “I tell my dad all the time, but he keeps buying it.”

Cas' eyes grow big and Dean thinks they might actually pop out. “I love bologna. Does he use miracle whip or mayo?”

Victor smiles brightly. “Mayo. Miracle Whip is stupid.”

Dean can't believe it. His two friends are bonding over sandwiches. “Hey,”

Dean says, feeling left out, “I like sandwiches.”

“What is your favorite sandwich?” Cas asks, in the same voice she used to ask what his favorite baseball team is.

Dean thinks about it for a moment before deciding. “Ham,” and he doesn't miss the pitying look Victor and Cas share. He doesn't care though, they can keep their stupid sandwiches.

“Hey, guys,” Dean's other friend, Chuck says as he puts down his tray containing that day's selection of cheese pizza. “Oh, Hi, Castiel,” he squeaks. “I'm sorry I couldn't come to your party, I had to go to go visit my gramma in the nursing home.”

“Hello, Chuck,” Castiel nods in his direction.

“You guys coming over?” Dean questions the group with his mouth full of potato chips.

“Sure,” Chuck says, wiping ketchup off his mouth.

Victor shrugs, poking his straw into his chocolate milk. “I'm in.”

“I would be delighted, Dean,” Castiel makes it sound like he's invited her to a tea party. She's probably the kind of girl who has tea parties. She better not make him have a freaking tea party.

 _Seriously_ , _why does she talk like that_? He'd ask, but then their teacher announces it's time to put their trays up and get in their respective lines.

Castiel doesn't make any mention of tea when they get to Dean's house. Instead they play Ghostbusters and search for Ectoplasm and Dean quickly learns that Castiel makes an excellent Egon to his Dr. Peter Venkman. It's weird having a girl in the group, but she somehow manages to fit.


	3. Chapter 3

It becomes standard that Cas goes home with Dean in the afternoons. Mary greets them both with hugs and afternoon snacks consisting of apples and peanut butter. Dean licks the peanut butter off all the apples and gives them to Cas. Then they both read to Sam, which turns into an argument about how one should react say a cat wearing a hat shows up at your doorstep.

“I say you shoot it,” Dean makes a gun with his fingers, “bang!”

“You can't shoot a cat, Dean,” Cas glowers, pointing her finger at him,

“That's animal cruelty.”

Dean snorts. “Please, it's a walking, talking, cat wearing a hat. That's no ordinary cat, Cas! It's probably a werecat!” Dean watches a lot of old movies with his dad, so he knows about these things _okay_?

It's Sam who ends the arguments by pointing to the book and ordering them to, “Read!”

***

After they play with Sam, or more accurately Sam gets bored of their arguments and goes to play with his toys, they watch TV. This is the part that's dangerous because one minute they will be sitting on the opposite ends of the couch, and the next they will be side by side, snuggled up beside each other. Dean should protest, kick Cas away, something, but the truth is he kind of likes being close to her. Almost always, they end up curled up side by side, fast asleep while Scooby Doo runs from this week's ghost. Mary puts a blanket over them and snaps a picture for her scrapbook.

“Do you want to play house?” Castiel asks. Sam's down for his nap and Dean's mom is on the phone. Victor's grounded and Chuck has a dentist appointment, so it's just them.

Dean shrugs. “Sure,” he's bored enough to do about anything. Playing house doesn't seem too bad. “Um, so what do we do?”

“Well, you can be the mom and I'll be the dad,” Castiel explains, “and I will go to work and bring home the bread while you stay home with the babies.”

Dean regards Castiel with great skepticism, “I think it's supposed to be the other way around.”

“If you say so,” Castiel replies, “We will play it your way. You're the dad, I'm the mom.”

Dean's still not sure about this, but at least she's not lecturing him.

“Got it.”

They stand, both waiting for the other to actually do something. Finally, Castiel huffs indignantly.

“You're supposed to kiss me.”

Dean really should know better. Of course Castiel would want to play a game that resulted in them kissing. All girls are evil and want to infect innocent boys like him with their germs. Next thing, she'll want to hold hands on the bus.

“Do you not want to kiss me?” her bottom lip sticks out and she starts staring at him with big eyes. Dean tries as hard as he can to resist, but somehow Castiel has this ability to make him do whatever she wants. It would be so much easier if he could just hate her, but she's like a puppy.  
It's impossible. So, Dean throws his hands up in the air.

“Fine, I'll kiss you!”

She beams, making his stomach flutter slightly. Her eyes close and her lips stick out like a fish which makes her look kind of silly but instead of laughing, Dean starts to lean down to just get it over with.

Castiel's eyes snap open. “Wait!”

Startled, Dean jumps back. “What?”

“We have to get married first!” She says it the same way his mom does whenever they go out and she remembers she left her curling iron on.

Dean's not sure he follows her train of thought. “We do?”

Castiel rolls her eyes in exasperation, “Yes. That's what you do when you're a grown up. You get married, you kiss, and then you have babies.”

“Babies?” Dean asks in a weak voice. Next time they were so going to play Ghostbusters. Dean likes playing Ghostbusters. Hunting ghosts, now that sounds like a good job. None of this crazy baby business. “Fine, we'll get married but make it quick, Ninja Turtles is going to be on soon.”

She turns and looks at the time, “You have to propose. Get down on one knee and ask me to marry you.”

“Do I have to?” Dean whines. He's just glad no one else is here to see this. If Chuck or Victor were here, his life would be over.

“You're the one who wanted to play the dad,” Castiel reasons with a shrug.

Sighing, Dean bends down on one knee like he's seen in those romantic movies his mom is always watching. “Will you marry me?” he asks, bored. Then he stands up because being on one knee's painful. _He's never doing that again._

Castiel's hand flies to her mouth, “Oh, _Dean_! of course I'll marry you!” She throws her thin arms around him in a quick hug. Dean blushes from the top of his head to the bottom of his neck.

“Now for the wedding! I'll do it because you'll mess it up,” Castiel informs him and Dean shrugs. “Do you take me in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, in the seasons of the sun, amen?”

Dean's pretty sure that's not how it goes, but he agrees nevertheless. “Um, sure.”

“Okay, and I also take you, Dean, in sickness and health, for rich or poor, in the seasons of the sun, amen.”

“Awesome,” Dean declares. “Are we done? It's starting.”

Castiel nods happily. “Yep!”

Awhile later they were sitting on the sofa, watching the Turtles fight Shredder's horde when Castiel pecks him on the cheek. Once again, the flutters in Dean's stomach appear, this time not going away as she cheers the Turtles on.

“You kissed me.” He's torn between wanting to go wash it off and staying where he is and sputtering like a lunatic. He decides to go with the latter.

Castiel doesn't even so much as glance at him, “Yeah, and?”

“And, and, _you kissed me_!”

This time, she does look at him, “I told you, Dean. Kissing is what married people do!”

“Oh,” Dean says, not at all comfortable with her answer. “Wait, how long are we gonna be married for?”

She rolls her eyes. “It's until we die, Dean. Everyone knows that.”

This time Dean's strangely appeased, because at least he knows how long he's in for. Besides, he can think of worse girls to be married to, like Lilith. “Oh, okay. Wanna play Ghostbusters after this?”

She smiles. “Sure. I get to be Egon.”


	4. Chapter 4

If anyone asks, Dean's very quick to say Victor's his best friend, but fact of the matter is when all is said and done, beside his family, there's no one more important to him than Castiel and that scares the crap out of him. He's nine now and nine year old boys shouldn't have these warm fuzzy feelings for a girl. He shouldn't want to be around her all the time and he shouldn't be sad when she has to go home and he especially shouldn't be thinking she's kind of pretty with her curly pig tails and her big blue eyes. So he pushes his feelings down, pretends they don't exist. Only it doesn't work out because despite all her quirks, Cas has somehow gotten under his skin.

Unfortunately for him, it comes out in this stupid need to protect her. Someone so much as teases or looks at her the wrong way, Dean's ready to fight them with insults and maybe even his fists if it comes down to it.

And that's why he's currently sitting in his bedroom waiting for his dad to come home from the police station. He's got cut lip and a bruised ego, all because some older kid said Cas was weird.

Looking back on it Dean knows what he did was stupid because, well, _Cas is weird_. She'd rather play with Batman toys instead of My Little Ponies and she doesn't own a single Barbie and she stands way too close and uses really big words and looks weird and is weird. But it didn't mean the boy had to say it.

He hears the front door open and instantly tenses. He's not afraid of his dad, not at all, it's just the last thing he wants is for his dad to be disappointed in him. Dean hears his mother's voice, muffled by the door and the stairs, but Dean knows she's telling him. He expects John to come up and start yelling, but instead he waits. And waits, and waits. In the meantime Dean gets bored and does his homework, and after that's done, he starts doodling in his notebook. Drawing is just something he kind of does whenever he's bored or anxious. He likes doing it, likes creating characters from his imagination. He becomes engrossed with his current drawing of a man who looks suspiciously like his dad killing a werewolf when his door opens and John steps in.

“Dean.”

Dean drops his pencil down and stands up with his head hanging down. “Dad.”

“Well,” John says, “Let me take a look at you.”

Dean raises his chin at his father's order and John steps closer, peering at Dean's injuries.  
“Alright, tell me what happened.”

Dean reiterates the story as best he can. “A kid called Cas weird.”

John frowns. “You call Cas weird twice a day.”

Dean knows that, but when he does it's not meant as an insult. “It's not the same.” He thinks he sees a hint of a smile on John's face but it leaves as John shakes his head as he sits down on Dean's bed and pats the space beside him. There's not a lot of space on Dean's bed due to his father's large frame, but somehow he manages to squeeze in.

“Now, I'm supposed to ground you and make you run around the block two times like usual, but between you and me, I'm proud of you.”

Dean doesn't know what to say to that. “You…are?”

John somehow makes his laugh turn into a cough. “Yes, well, don't tell your mother" he stands, rubbing his hands on his jeans. “Was Castiel okay? The other boy didn't make her cry did he?”

“No.” He's not going to admit that Castiel yelled at him the whole way home.

Dean still has to run around the block two times and he gets grounded for three days which sucks because it means he has to stay home alone after school and he can't go to his friends houses and they can't come over. He also has stay inside at recess and write lines. He doesn't though.  
Instead he draws his teacher as a witch and watches Cas play with Chuck and Victor out the window.

***

Cas is sleeping soundly in her bed when her brother Gabriel runs in and jumps on top of her.

“Snow day, Cas! Wake up, we're going sledding!” Upon hearing her brother's words, Cas shoots up like lightning and begins to search for her snow outfit. Every year when it snows, the Paradis siblings get dressed, eat a big breakfast consisting of hot oatmeal with maple syrup stirred in, gather their sleds and go find the highest hill they can.

“Where do you think you're going?” Missouri bellows as soon as Michael opens the door. The four kids still, afraid to move. “I have expressed my feelings about you taking your sister with you on your foolish adventures.

"You, miss, are staying here.”

“But Missouri,” Cas whines, “I want to go!”

The foster mother snatches Cas' sled away from her. “I said no.”

“We can still go, right, ma?” Raphael asks, the other boys staring eagerly for permission.

“Yes, be careful,” Missouri grants it, ushering the three boys out of the house while Cas glares at Missouri. Seeing this the woman simply shrugs.

“I'm not changing my mind. You are staying home today. I don't want you catching cold.  
Remember last year when you caught pneumonia?”

Cas just keeps glaring at her.

“Take off those clothes, you're going to die of the heat.”

“Good, then I won't have to be around you,” Castiel crosses her arms and sulks.

"Child!"

“Sorry.” What's the point in having brand new snow boots if you can't even wear them? Cas stomps up to her room and stares out her window forlornly at all the kids playing outside, building snowmen, forts and having snowball fights. There's even the weird blonde kid who lives down the street who makes peculiar looking snowmen he calls art.

She imagines her brothers trekking up the hill with their sleds, the snow getting into their boots but not caring because they've put on four pairs of socks each. Eventually, they'll get to the top of the hill and will take the time to look around, to enjoy the moment. Gabriel will try to catch a snowflake with his tongue while Michael and Raphael make snowballs. Then Michael and Raphael will pelt Gabriel but it'll be okay, because he's the master of snowball fights. The three will run around the top of the hill, throwing snowballs at each other, laughing.

“I wish Casafras was here,” Gabriel will say in an extremely over dramatic tone and Michael and Raphael will agree, cold tears streaming down their faces at not having her there.

Then, one by one, they will get on their sleds, stare down at the abyss below and will take off.

After they land, they'll do the whole thing over again.

All the while Castiel sits at home, locked in her bedroom like Rapunzel.

Briefly, Cas looks in her mirror and wonders if she has enough hair to climb down with. Only problem with her plan though is her hair doesn't grow down so much as it grows out and up in giant frizzy curls. One thing't for sure, Cas isn't staying locked away like some fairy tale princess. Cas is a Paradis and they are warriors. At least, that's what Michael says and he's usually right.

She just needs to strategize. She can't sneak out the front door as Missouri's currently on the couch watching “Miracle on 34th Street.” She can't leave through the back door either for the same reasons. Going out from the bottom floor's not an option. Acknowledging this, Cas quickly redresses into her snow outfit and opens her window. Cool winter air blasts her face and Cas pulls down her knit hat over her ears, straightens her gloves and nods seriously at the outside world before climbing out the window.

Climbing down is a lot harder than she thought it would be, due to the slickness of the snow, but all she has to do is ask herself, “What would Batman do?” Her fear dissipates, becoming something else entirely; a need to make her favorite character proud.

As soon as she drops to the ground, Cas stills, sure that Missouri is going to open the door and shout at Cas to come inside. She counts to five and then takes off running.

Sure enough, when Cas arrives at their hill, Raphael is flying down the hill so fast his sled isn't even touching the ground, screaming at the top of his lungs. As soon as he reaches the bottom he goes flying off his sled and crashes into a snow bank. Then he stands, putting his fist in the air.  
Up top, Michael and Gabriel holler and high five.

“What are you doing here?” Raphael asks as he picks up his sled.

“I snuck out,” Castiel tells him and he narrows his eyes.

“You're going to get into trouble.”

“I don't care,” Castiel shrugs. “Let her ground me. I want to fly.”

Gabriel's already coming down when she and Raphael start walking up the hill. Just as she fantasized, the snow gets into her boots and gloves, chilling her fingers and toes but she doesn't care because soon she's standing on the top of the world.

“Missouri is going to ground you into the next century,” Michael informs Castiel, but he's putting her on his sled while he says it, so she can tell he's not mad.

It'll be worth being grounded, Cas decides as soon as Michael kicks the sled and Cas is sent down the hill, clutching the sides of the sled, freezing air slamming into her face. The ride seems to last for an eternity, or maybe time stops, because in that moment, she's happier than any other time she can think of, except for when she's with Dean. Years from now, she'll decide this is what being in love is like.

They get in a few more rides before the sun starts to set and it's time to go home. As soon as they walk in the door, Missouri shoos Cas up to the bathroom to take a hot bath and starts in on Michael and Raphael for not bringing her home. Missouri feeds Cas soup that night like she's trying to curb an illness that hasn's happened yet and starts feeling Cas' head every five minutes.

“Go to bed,” it's only seven. As she leaves the table, she wonders if she's Tiny Tim and if she needs to start walking around with a crutch. Cas doesn't go to bed like instructed though. Instead she puts in Legend of Zelda and starts trying to beat her high score. Gabriel comes in, dressed in his Star Wars footie pajamas.

“I'm gonna borrow Spiderman, kay?”

Because he's respectful when it comes to comics and he didn's try to send her home, she gives him permission. Gabriel chooses one seemingly at random, sits next to her and starts reading.  
He's closest to her in age, and they get along best so there's nothing strange about this. She's too worried that Michael's in trouble because of her to concentrate on her game.

“Is Michael mad?”

“How could you tell?” It's true Michael can be kind of a grump, but still he's never actively been mad at her. Cas orders Gabriel not to touch her controller and runs to the room he and Raphael share.

“I'm sorry.”

Michael puts down his book and pats the space beside him, “Come here.” Cas climbs the ladder and curls next to her big brother.

For a teenager of considerable size and strength, he's got the most peaceful presence Cas has ever known. “You want me to read to you?”

Cas shrugs, “Sure.” She can finish Zelda later. Michael picks his book back up, “Alright, so this is Mohammad Ali, the greatest boxer of all time. Don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.”

“I won't,” Castiel promises and Michael starts reading.

***

The road crews clear up the snow and what's left all but melts the next day, which means school isn't canceled. Missouri makes her wear a turtle neck, a sweater, a coat, as well as a pair of thick pants and her puffy gloves, hat and scarf. By the time she and Gabriel walk to the bus stop, she's boiling up.

“She just doesn't want you getting sick again, Casafras,” Gabriel says, helping her pull off her coat.

Cas just sighs and doesn't say anything!

"Do you want anything?” he asks, opening his Incredible Hulk backpack up, revealing what's probably more candy then most kids get on Halloween. Cas take a few pieces of candy, some chocolate bars and a grape flavored lollipop for her, some peanut M&M's for Dean and some other miscellaneous candy for the rest of her friends. She puts most of the candy in her own bag, unwrapping the sucker to eat while they wait for the bus to arrive.

“Hey, I want some!” a kid Castiel doesn's know exclaims and one by one, every other kid at the stop is pleading at Gabriel for candy.

Gabriel cocks his head thoughtfully, “What's in it for me?”

“How about you give me all your candy and I won't slam my fist in your face?” the much taller boy leans into Gabriel's personal space and to anyone else it would be intimidating, but Gabriel just sort of smirks.

“Aren't you the kid who was held back two years in a row? That must suck, being that stupid.”  
By some miracle, the bus arrives at that moment and the bully isn's able to respond. This can only be a good thing since he's the kind of bully who responds with his fists for lack of anything to say.

Castiel shakes her head and steps onto the bus. Dean's already on it with a backpack in the seat next to him. She waves, standing behind four other kids, two of whom ask Dean if they can sit beside him. As soon as Cas makes it over, he lifts up his bag and lets her sit. Gabriel takes the seat behind them and leans over the seat, crossing his arms.

“Hey, Deano,” Gabriel pokes at Dean who swats his hand away, “You wanna help me kick that kid's ass?”

“What'd he do?” Dean asks, looking over the seats at Zachariah.

It's Cas who answers, giving Dean his bag of peanut M&M's. “He tried to bully Gabriel into giving him his candy.”

Opening the bag, Dean shoots Gabriel a look. “You want to beat up someone because he stole your candy?”

Cas corrects him. “Tried.”

Dean regards Gabriel with shake of the head. “Yeah, no.”

Gabriel huffs. “What if I told you he was mean to Cas?”

Dean instantly turns his head to her. “Was he?”

She'll admit, she loves when he gets protective over her. But alas, she isn't going to lie to Dean just so Gabriel can give the bully his comeuppance for something he didn't even do. “No.”

Dean shrugs then and Gabriel who huffs and leans back in his seat. “So what'd you do yesterday?” he asks Cas.

“Oh you should have seen it!” Gabriel exclaims, forgetting about Zachariah for the time being.“It was so cool. So we were going sledding right? But Missouri's all "oh no! Castiel can't go because she's too precious,” Cas rolls her eyes, even though it's not a bad impersonation, “and so she is sent to her room right? So what does little sis do?” He doesn's give Dean the chance to guess, “She climbed out the window! You should have seen it, Deano.”

“ _You_ didn't see it,” Cas reminds him.

“True,” Gabriel admits, sitting back to talk to another kid. Castiel leans back in her seat, placing her hands in her lap and Dean bumps her with his shoulder.

“What did you do yesterday?” she asks, smiling back at him.

“Not much,” Dean admits, “Built an awesome snow family, but all's left is their heads. You want a ring pop?”

Castiel smiles broadly as Dean gives her a grape ring pop from his bag. “Thank you, Dean,” she says, taking his hand in hers. He stares at her hand for a minute before shrugging and squeezing it back.

_Someday she's going to marry this boy for real._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Leave a comment or kudos if you liked it and thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Dean's thirteen when puberty hits him in the worst way possible. There's the growth spurt, the hair in new and exciting places, sweating, pimples, and best of all, the constant erections. It's during this time when he gets his first girlfriend Andrea Creston. She's funny and popular and she smells like apples when she kisses him for the first time. He still sits next to Cas in class though, even though he scoots his desk over so he's not sitting right next to her, because she's the class dork. Almost everyone teases Cas, especially the girls Dean's so desperately trying to impress.

The only one who takes Castiel's side is Jo, but she's his cousin so she doesn't count. 

“What's with your clothes, Clarence? Are you trying to be a sexy librarian?” Meg asks, leering at Castiel. 

“ _Please_ , like Castiel here could ever be sexy,” Pamela Barnes rolls her eyes. Pamela's hated Cas ever since elementary school. No one really knows why.

Cas looks down at her white blouse and pleated skirt. “They're just clothes.” 

“Whatever,” Pamela shrugs, “I swear to God the sight of you makes me want to burn my eyes out.” 

It's not just verbal teasing though. They'll joke about losing their pencils and someone will say. “Have you looked inside Castiel's hair?” Then, when she's not paying attention, they actually put things in her hair. Sometimes Dean feels guilty for laughing along with them, but not enough to stop. 

They're in gym class and it's a nice day so their teacher says the magic words, “Softball.” 

They trudge out to the field and get into teams. Being the most popular boy, Victor gets first pick of his team. Naturally he picks Dean first and because he wants to go along with the status quo as much as Dean does, he doesn't pick Cas. She's picked second to last, just before Ronald Reznick. 

Cas frowns, picking up her bat and goes to the home plate. Their pitcher Richie takes a few steps closer to Cas and Dean, standing at first base, can see the way her fingers squeeze the bat too hard and her eyebrows furrow.

She swings too fast. “Strike!” their teacher calls. 

“Watch the ball, Freak!” Someone on her team yells, unhelpfully. 

“Hey, dweeb,” they hear a voice calling from the top floor of the school.

“Call my sister a freak again and I'll make you regret it! Come on Casafras!”

The pitch comes and she hits the ball and makes it to first base. 

“Hey,” Dean says, trying to make conversation. 

Castiel ignores him for the entire time she's next to him. Dean shrugs it off when she runs to second without even saying hello. _If that's the way she wants it, that's the way it's going to be._

The teams switch sides and he can hear Castiel ask Zachariah if she can play short stop. 

“You? No. You're right field.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Castiel grits her teeth and stomps to her position. Dean watches as she looks up at the building where Gabriel's still watching. She starts making these weird hand gestures and for a minute he wonders if she's lost it, because his mom teaches sign language and that's definitely not sign language, but then he gets it. They're talking in baseball code. Gabriel keeps shaking his head, his hands moving at the speed of light but somehow Castiel understands him and nods, moving closer to the plates. 

Next to him, Victor laughs as Dean picks up his bat, swinging it a couple times. Victor's hand claps his back, “Hit to Cas.” 

“Yeah,” Pam snickers, “Hit it to Cas.” 

Dean ignores the feeling in his stomach at them using his nickname for her, pushing it down and concentrating on hitting the ball to its intended

destination. He hits the ball in her direction, but it's a foul. 

“Come on, Dean,” Victor hisses in his ear, “Get her.” 

_Get her?_ What is he supposed to be getting her for _exactly_? She might not be the coolest girl, but she never actually did anything to deserve his ire. Still, he hits the ball as hard as he can, sending it flying towards her. For a minute he forgets to run, just watching as she jumps in the air, arm extended. He's halfway to first when she lands on the ground. 

“OUT!” 

“ _Shit_ ,” Dean mutters under his breath. 

“CAS!” Gabriel yells, “GET UP!” 

Cas stands to her feet at the order and throws the ball to the kid they have playing short stop.

“Switch positions with me,” she orders, and this time, the kid doesn't argue, trading positions with her. 

Later, Dean gets one more turn at bat and this time, he makes it to second. 

“You still not gonna talk to me?” Dean asks Castiel. “That's cool. I don't want to talk to you either.” 

“Do you have anything of worth to say?” Castiel asks, not looking at him, “Because all I'm hearing is nonsense.” 

_Wait a second here_ , _she's_ the loser here, not _him_. Where does she get off acting like it's the opposite? What happens next is completely an accident, and Dean will go to his grave saying so. 

The ball goes flying towards Cas and even though it's clearly her ball, her team mates still don't trust her to catch it, so the second and third basemen rush at her at the same time Dean takes off for third. He crashes into her, sending them both to the ground. There's a very audible crack and for a second he thinks it might be him but nothing hurts. Looking down, Castiel's eyes are closed and there are voices asking where the ball is. 

“I got it,” Cas says in a low voice. “ _Get off me.”_

Dean stands up and offers her hand but she doesn't take it. “Are you okay?” _Of course she's not okay._

“My arm is broken,” Castiel says, but while she sounds angry, she's doesn't sound upset. In fact, she's far too casual about the whole thing. Sure, it's obvious she's in pain, but it's more a physical response than anything else. 

“CASTIEL!” Gabriel shouts. “GET UP.” 

“Come on, Cas,” Dean says softly, “You heard him.”

“This is your fault,” She ignores her brother and her eyes meet his. It feels like forever since he looked into those shocking blue eyes. He has to look away. 

“What's going on here?” the teacher asks, coming up to them. 

“She broke her arm.” It makes it sound like she did it on purpose, and from the look on her face it's obvious she caught his tone too. He shrugs back. 

“ _Dean_ broke my arm,” Castiel corrects, sending a glare his way. 

“It was an accident!” Dean shouts, not about to take the fall for her injury, “Maybe if you looked where you were going…”

“The tower of Babel falling was an accident,” Castiel retorts while their teacher helps her up.

“I regret ever meeting you.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean shouts at her back, “I regret meeting you more, _freak_!” His stomach does flip flops the lie. She's his best friend, or was, in any case.

For the next week in a half they don't speak except for when he asks her for a pencil and she hands him a purple Joker pencil and he fears she might stab him in the eye with it. Jo, who hadn't been there for the day of the game, kicks Dean in the shins. 

“That's for breaking my best friend's arm.” Idly Dean wonders when Cas and Jo became best friends. 

“I didn't!” Dean yells, rubbing his shoulder. “It was an accident. And what about Zachariah and Gordon? They knocked into her too.” 

“Ugh, you're an idiot. I can't believe I'm related to you,” she says, walking away

“It's mutual!” Dean shouts at her retreating frame. Then Andrea comes over and asks if Dean wants to go over to her house after school and all thoughts of Cas and Jo are forgotten. 

He and Andrea do very little but make out on her couch. He lets his hands roam her body and for the most part she's willing to go along with it, but when he tries to go for second base she pushes his hands off and tells him she just wants to kiss. It's okay though, there's still enough pressing and friction to make things really interesting. But then it becomes too interesting and she pushes him off. 

“Let's do our homework,” she says, moving away from him nervously. 

Dean groans. “How about we don't and go back to what we were doing?” 

She laughs, flipping her long brown hair over her shoulder. “Tell you what, we do our homework, and then we'll get back to what we were doing.” 

“We do homework,” Dean agrees, “and you let me touch your boobs.” 

Her smile drops. “No, Dean.” 

After thirty minutes of this back and forth, they end up doing homework, after which she kisses him while she pushes him out the door before her parents come home. 

***

Out of Dean's friends, it's Chuck who makes the first gesture to Castiel. It's not surprising, given how Chuck's never joined in with the teasing. “You were pretty awesome the other day.” he says to her, earning an actual smile. 

“Oh, thank you, Chuck. I liked your short story about the boy and the shape shifter dog.”

“Ohhh, thanks,” Chuck beams, “Great, uh, so I was thinking about adding a character in the comic I'm doing with Dean? An angel, sent from heaven to help David out.” 

Dean's suspicions are instantly raised as they're talking about what's going to become the comic book they're co-writing together. He knows Castiel's aware of Dean's involvement too, it's the only thing that can explain the pensive expression.

“I see. That is an interesting development,” Castiel says eventually. 

Chuck blushes and for a second Dean wonders if maybe Chuck has a crush on Cas, but then thinks better of it. “I was thinking about basing her on you, if that's okay.”

Dean's sure Castiel's going to say yes. Miss comic book junkie would never turn down the chance to become a character in an actual story. However, this would mean Dean would have to draw her and there's no way that's going to happen. “Dude, I'm not drawing her.” 

“While I appreciate the gesture,” Castiel starts, ignoring Dean's protests, “I feel it best to decline. Change the character to a man.” 

“But it's a love story,” Chuck gulps. 

“Yeah, I'm _definitely_ not drawing that,” Dean says, making a face. 

“All the more reason,” Castiel assures Chuck, “Think about it, David is lost, alone, he needs guidance and the only people he can connect to are men. Make the angel a man.”

“I never thought about it that way,” Chuck admits. “Wait, are you saying David's gay?”

 _“David's not gay,”_ Dean growls. The character is based on him, for crying out loud. Just because he thinks Marky Mark is attractive doesn't mean he's gay.

“No, I have no doubt that David loves women, in fact, there's probably someone out there who he'll find happiness with and it will probably be a woman, but right now, David doesn't need love. He needs someone who will pull him out of the _hell_ that is his life,” Castiel looks over at Dean as she says it. 

Dean crosses his arms. “Maybe David _likes_ his life, ever think about that?” 

“David _hates_ his life,” Castiel counters Dean easily, “Give me _one_ thing he's happy about.” 

“He gets to shoot monsters in the face.” It's an admirable profession in Dean's book.

“And that proves my point. David has nothing except his job. You know what you should do, Chuck?” 

“What?” 

“Write in someone to be David's partner, someone he can count on but won't necessarily fall in love with. Someone…” 

“A brother!” Chuck exclaims, clapping his hands together. 

“Yes, that would work,” Castiel assures Chuck, then she lets out a little sigh, as though she's relieved she's convinced Chuck not to write her into their novel. 

Chuck though, remains pensive. “Um, I'll have to rewrite this whole thing.” 

“No,” Castiel disagrees, “Just have David go find him and start from there.” 

Sam's reaction to becoming a comic book character is, “Cool, can I have a super power?”

“Uh, well they're really just normal guys,” Dean says. Being thirteen also means the added responsibility of babysitting his brother until his parents get home. It's not a bad deal though, since Sam's pretty good natured. Mostly Sam just works on his homework and sometimes he has friends over but mostly he leaves Dean alone while he talks on the phone with Andrea. Mostly. 

“Whatever,” Sam frowns, “He should have powers. Maybe he can read people's minds! Or he knows the future! Oh I like that. Yeah, he knows the future!” 

Dean laughs, “Sure, whatever Simon will know the future.” 

“Simon?” Sam makes a face, “You're naming him Simon?” 

“It was Chuck's idea,” Dean shrugs. He's on hold with her while she answers a call on her other line. “But you're right, he's not a Simon.” 

“I don't know why you don't just call them Dean and Sam,” the 9 year old says, “He's using everyone else's names.” 

“Um, because it'd be weird?” Dean guesses. “I dunno. Eat your macaroni.” 

Sam shrugs and goes back to eating, “Can Ruby come over?”   
  
Dean has never hated any kid as much as he hates Ruby Adams, but he knows it's not up to him and their mom said Sam could have anyone he wanted over. “If Cas was allowed to come over when you were that age, then so is Ruby.” Dean made the argument that Cas was _different_ because she was _Cas_ but that lead to a whole why doesn't Cas come over anymore debate and so, Dean decides to pick his battles. “Whatever, but if she does anything skeevy I'm kicking her out.” 

The next day, Dean's confronted by both Andrea and Chuck. Andrea pulls Dean aside and tells him as nice as she can that she's dumping him. 

“Why?” Dean asks, right as Castiel walks by them, humming under her breath. Recognizing the tune, Dean starts humming with it too. 

Andrea smiles and puts her hand on Dean's shoulder. “You're really cute, but it's just not working out.” 

In home room, Chuck marches up to Dean's desk. “I'm still putting in Castiel's character because this is my story too.” 

Dean sighs and looks over at Cas. “I guess you should come over today.” 

_“I'm delighted_ ,” Castiel says, sounding anything but.


	6. Chapter 6

Because it's gym class, they have to go outside again, only this time Castiel can't play due to her arm. Dean expects her to read while everyone else plays, but she watches the game with rapt attention. 

“I don't know why they let Richie pitch,” Castiel sighs, “Ronald throws better.” 

“Yeah?” Dean watches for a few minutes and sure enough, she's right. “What about me?” 

Cas leans against the brick wall. “What about you, Dean?” 

“What do you think of my playing?”

Castiel claps for Jo as she steps to the plate before answering Dean's question, “You're alright. you're not as good as you think you are, but I don't think that matters to you. You don't care about baseball, not the way you care about art or books, and don't try to tell me you don't read because I _know_ you do.”

Dean stares at her for a minute. _Does she have to be so insightful about everything?_

“You try _too_ hard,” Castiel says, clearly reading Dean's mind. “You could still be with   
Andrea...but you tried to rush things with her.” She gives him a sideways look, “girls talk in the restrooms, but it's not just girls you try too hard with. You want so badly for everyone to like you that you forget the important things.” 

Hating her insight, Dean lashes out. "Maybe I _don't_ think those things are important _anymore_.”

"Maybe,” Castiel repeats, nonplussed. 

“I don't _get_ you,” Dean sighs, “You have like, no friends and yet you're sitting here like it's _nothing_.” 

“Because _it isn't_ ” Castiel says, folding her hands. “I know what I am, my worth. It's certainly not my fault no one else can see it.” 

“Well, maybe because it's _not_ there?” He doesn't say it to be petty, he really doesn't, but as valid as the question sounds in his head, he regrets it the moment he says it.Not just because it's a cruel thing to say, but because it's so completely untrue. He waits for her to react, to yell, kick, verbally kick his ass, something but her attention turns back to the field. 

“Tell Victor he's pulling his elbow.” 

“Uh, Okay.” Is she really going to sit there and take his shit _like that_? This is not the Cas he knows _and_ …knows.

“I'm not coming over tonight,” she tells him when class ends. “Tell Sam I said hello.” 

Sam's been moping ever since Cas stopped coming over to their house. The minute he learned she'd be coming over again he got all excited. “You know,” Dean calls after her, “Sam uh, kind of misses you so if you want to stop by sometime and see Sammy, you can, I guess.” 

Cas nods. “I miss him, too.” 

Dean finds out from Jo, Cas won't get her cast off until school ends, but when he asks Cas about it, she shrugs. “I can still play during the summer,” then she walks away without so much as a see ya.

**

Dean spends the rest of the school year jumping from girl to girl. He doesn't let himself get emotionally invested, because fuck that shit. It wasn't that he was really into Andrea, but _girls are just way too complicated._

The summer comes and goes way too fast in Dean's opinion. He spends it half at the pool with Sam and half at the park-with Sam. For most of the summer he doesn't see or talk to Castiel, until one day she comes to the park with her brother and a couple other people.

Gabriel is making jokes with Balthazar, the tanned British exchange student in Gabriel's grade. Michael's arms draped across the shoulder of a pretty red head. Raphael follows along, carrying a basket that's probably full of sandwiches.   
  
Once again, Castiel's expression is pensive. He doesn't hear what Balthazar says to Castiel, but it makes her smile and reach up to play with her hair. Being one himself, Dean knows a flirt when he sees it. When Cas removes her hoodie to reveal she's wearing a black tank top.

Dean watches as Gabriel's friend checks her out. _Whatever_ , Dean thinks, _Cas doesn't have anything worth checking…_ she turns and _oh_ okay, so she has boobs. Alright so she had a growth spurt. No Big deal, Dean just had one himself. There was nothing to make a fuss over. Gabriel plays toss with himself for a few minutes before Michael yells at him to stop. 

“Are we playing or not?” Castiel asks impatiently tapping her foot. 

Balthazar gives Cas a schmoozy smile. “Is there somewhere you need to be, Cassy?” 

Dean raises his brow. Cassy? _Cassy?_

“No,” Cas giggles again and Dean's eyes narrow. She's not actually flirting back with this guy is she? _Castiel doesn't flirt_. The jerk doesn't seem to mind though as he just keeps smiling at her.

“Don't you need more players?” the redhead asks. 

“Not the way we play, Anna,” Michael assures her. “Now are you sure you want to play? We play with an actual baseball, not a soft ball.” 

Her eyebrows furrow. “Then why do you let Castiel play?” 

The brothers share a look before bursting out laughing. “I'll show you,” Gabriel says before calling out Cas' name. He signals her once and she nods right before Gabriel hands Raphael the ball. The teenager throws Castiel a fast ball and she catches it like it's nothing. 

_“That's why_ ,” Gabriel states. 

“Well, okay,” Anna says, “I still want to play.” 

Dean has watched the Paradis' play ball before, and it's definitely not the kind of ball playing they do in school. It's not just the fact they're using an actual baseball, it's that their collective skill level is just so much higher.

They're not perfect by any means- Castiel's hitting sucks and Michael's catching is a little iffy and Gabriel can't really throw worth a damn, but when it comes to the things they are good at, well they're down right otherworldly. 

Jo was right, how did he forget she was _that good?_ Dean's actually impressed Anna and Balthazar can keep up. 

Dean is not the only person at the park watching, a crowd's gathered around, some people are even sitting on the stands. Sam sits next to Dean on the swings. 

“When are you going to stop being stupid and talk to her?”   
  
“Don't you have friends to play with or something?”

Sam shrugs, “You think anyone is playing while _that's_ going on?” he gestures towards the field. 

“I just heard Aunt Ellen say something about getting Cas to play for the team.” Their aunt coaches the girls' softball team at the high school. No doubt Cas will join. They still have another year of middle school, though. Balthazar lifts up his hand, urging Cas for a high five.   
She beams, slapping her palm against his and the game continues. 

“Hey, assbutt!” Castiel shouts at Michael while Dean's head is turned. “What the hell was that?”

Their games never end until Castiel gets pissed at Michael for something he does and starts yelling in his face. It's comical, watching Castiel yell into the giant's face, hands and hair flying around, completely livid. She's covered in dirt and sweat and her skin is glowing and _okay_ , maybe she is a little hot. 

She's still Castiel though, class nerd. There's no way that's going to change once school starts. 

Of course things change when school starts. They go home together still and even though Dean can sit anywhere else, he sits next to Cas. When she raises her eyebrows at him he shrugs back at her. Dean is quick to notice how she's no longer looking at him with a mixture of pity and anger, but instead she seems to be quietly amused by him. 

“So uh, what did you do this summer?” Dean asks, putting his feet in the desk in front of him. 

“Nothing of import,” Cas says, reaching into her bag for her note book and two pencils. “I went to Bible camp.”

Dean makes a face, “ _Ew_. How long did it take you to get kicked out this time?” 

“A week,” she sighs. “I _apparently_ have a problem with questioning authority,” she says, using finger quotes. Their summers together growing up always went like this. Cas goes to Bible camp, Cas gets kicked out, comes home and then they hang out. This last summer was the first one where they spent it apart. 

“You'd think they'd stop letting you in,” Dean says, taking out the supplies his mom bought him the night before. Dean frowns; of course the pencils are unsharpened.

She tosses him a little sharpener and Dean starts working on making his pencils usable. “Well, maybe if they stopped saying a woman's place is in the home, on her back and popping out his seed, then maybe I'd be more willing to not question them. I have plans, Dean, big plans.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes,” she says with a distinct nod. “I don't ever plan on being on my back.” Dean's body instantly takes note of this. It can't mean what it sounds like. “I‟m going to become a veterinarian. I've even been volunteering at the animal clinic.”   
  
“What about getting married and having babies and stuff? Don't you want that?” 

She shrugs. “If I ever find the right person, I'll consider it.” 

“Um, what about that Balthazar guy?” The question spews from Dean's mouth before he can even stop it. He hasn't been thinking about them, _not at all._ He takes a look at his pencil, and satisfied that it's okay to write with, he grabs another pencil and starts sharpening it. 

“What about him?” Cas frowns. 

“Well uh, I saw you guys um, flirting or whatever,” the pencil sticks and when Dean twists it, the point breaks off. 

“Dean, Balthazar flirts with everyone ,” Castiel replies, calmly taking the sharpener and Dean's pencils. “I'll do them.”

“Um, yeah, but you like him, right?” Dean asks, folding his arms. 

“i don't know dean, maybe a little” Dean doesn't know why this makes his stomach churn uncomfortably.

***

For Christmas she shows up at his house with her family to sing carols. She stands beside Gabriel, who plays his trumpet and Balthazar who has his hand on Cas' shoulder as they sing.

Singing being a loose interpretation of what's happening. Cas just sort of stands there and looks bored, occasionally muttering a rumpa pum pum whenever Missouri shoots a glare in her direction. Michael's singing is actually pretty good, except it's coupled with a scowl directed at Dean. Dean takes another step back into his house, just out of Michael's reach. When they leave, he can hear Castiel seething. 

“I don't understand why we have to sing a song about a stupid drummer boy anyway. There were no drummers at the birth of Jesus.” 

*

“Since you don't want a party for your birthday, how about this weekend you and I go ice fishing up at your grandpa's cabin?” John asks, standing in Dean's doorway. Dean's hunched over his desk, taking the screws out of the back of his old Walkman.

“Sure,” Dean answers, taking out a couple of the wires and placing them on his desk in neat lines. 

John walks up behind Dean, looking over his shoulder. “What are you doing?” 

“Building a remote control car for science class,” Dean shrugs, “Do you think Sam would mind if I use the wheels from his Tonka trucks?” 

“I'll ask,” John replies, “Let me know when you're finished. I want to see if it works.” 

Sam happily gives up the wheels, citing that he no longer plays with them anyway and also, remote control cars are cool. It takes Dean another hour to actually finish the project with Sam watching from the floor. Once he screws the last screw in, he takes a look at his finished product and promptly remembers he forgot to make a controller to go with it.

“Do you have any idea what you're doing?” Sam asks as Dean rushes down the stairs to the basement to look for their old Nintendo but is unable to find it amongst all the old boxes of pictures and his parents college text books. There's no way he's going to use one of his new controllers. As it is, there's only one person he can think of who would have a spare. 

“Crap.” 

Twenty minutes later Dean's sitting on the couch trying to watch TV with his parents when the doorbell rings. He jumps up, rushing to the door. 

“Hello, Dean.” Her eyes narrow as he takes the controller out of her hand, “is there anything else you require?” She's barefoot and has lilac colored toe nails. Dean doesn't know why this affects him, but it does. It's bad enough she's been the number one star of his fantasies lately, does she have to give his brain even more fodder? 

“Nope, you can go,” Dean goes to close the door when John's voice calls out Cas' name. 

“Hello, Mr. Winchester,” she nods politely, stepping past Dean to come inside against Dean's will. 

“Hello, Castiel,” John grins back, “We were just watching television, would you care to join us while we wait for Dean to finish?” 

“No thank you,” she says, shooting a glare in Dean's direction. He struggles not to glare back, just because his dad is there. As it is, John's eyes narrow anyway and then he turns away to cough. 

“Well, you let us know if you need anything, you're always welcome here.”

“Thank you,” Castiel replies with a smile that _does not_ make Dean's heart jump, not at all.   
Then she looks back at Dean, shakes her head and walks past him. Dean follows her outside to her bike. 

“Hey,” he says, grabbing her wrist. “Tell anyone-” 

She sighs, rolling her eyes up at the night sky. “ _What_ , _Dean?_ What are you going to do? Break my arm again? Laugh when people put things in my hair? Tape loser to my back?” 

“I didn't-" he starts to argue.   
  
“No, but you let it happen,” Castiel says. “Remember what I said about you trying too hard? You're _still_ doing it" with that she hops back on her bike and peddles away.


	7. Chapter 7

That night, the Winchester men spend way too much time playing with Dean's toy. He gets his very first A of the year for it. As a reward, Mary bakes him a pie. He should feel good, so why _doesn't_ he? 

Dean's actual birthday is on a Thursday and no one is more disappointed than Victor to find out Dean's not having a party. “Dude, I had this whole plan to play spin the bottle.”   
Next to him, Castiel snorts in her seat. 

“What do you want?” Victor snaps at her. Even Dean knows that's a mistake, as he quickly bends back and tries to look as innocent as possible. 

“Do you really think Dean's parents would allow spin the bottle?” She queries, casting a steel eyed gaze at Victor's direction, “Or any other games that require the transfer of saliva?”

“And _that_ ,” Victor says, pointing a finger at her, “Is why no one likes you.”

She's right though, there's no way Dean's parents would ever let them play Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare or anything that might lead to actual fun, hence why he's going ice fishing instead. 

Victor's comment about no one liking Cas sticks in his mind throughout the morning. At lunch he watches as she takes her seat at her table next to Jo. Well there was _one_ person who likes her.

And there's Chuck, and that weird kid Beckett Rosen who is waving his hands frantically while he talks. The other three are listening intently, and then Cas looks over and meets Dean's eyes.

He quickly looks away only to look back two seconds later to see Jo staring right at him. 

“ _Moron_ ,” she mouths.

***

Dean and John leave early in the morning for the cabin up in South Dakota. There's a main house that's belonged to his mom's family for three generations and then a small ice fishing cabin in the middle of the lake. It's small so they have to sit side by side on a wooden bench attached to a wall. There's a trap door in the middle with a hole cut into the ice and no heat, but Dean is wearing enough layers and this is better than a stupid party. 

Three hours into it though, he really regrets his decision. 

While John drinks his beer, Dean drinks hot cocoa out of a thermos and think of beaches, which leads to thoughts of girls in bikinis, which leads, unfortunately, to thoughts of _Castiel_ in a bikini and he's too busy trying to get his brain to think of anything else but her chest or legs or stomach or butt or hands or really _any_ part of her to notice how much his dad is drinking. 

“Dean,” John puts his arm around Dean, ruffling his hair, “You're a man now.” 

“I thought you said I wouldn't be a man until I learned how to drive,” Dean frowns. “Or got married.” It changes every week. “Or have kids.” 

“And I meant what I said,” John pats Dean's head, “Son, we need…we need to talk.” 

Dean shifts in his seat nervously. "Okay, Dad. What about?" 

Three seconds later, Dean really regrets asking when John puts his hands on his shoulders, turning him around and looking him dead in the eye. “About sex.” 

Seeing as they had this talk already, Dean really doesn't know why they have to have it again.

“I know dad" he starts, voice mocking. "when two people really love each other-” 

“No,” John shakes his hand at Dean, “Not, not that. You know about that. I'm talking about the other stuff.” 

Dean recalls the lecture his parents gave him, remembering it to be pretty technical. “I don't think you left anything out, dad,” Unless his dad wanted to talk about _positions_ or something, in which case, _get him the hell out of this cabin, now._

“Now,” John carries on like Dean hasn't said anything, “I know you've got a few girlfriends, kissing buddies and that's normal for a kid your age. I had a few myself. There was this one, Tricia, oh wow the things she could do with her…” he coughs, “Anyway, next year you'll be going to high school and you'll want more than just kissin,” John takes a swig of his beer, “and I won't tell you what to do, Dean, other than _always_ listen to them, if they say stop, you _stop_ , got it?” 

“Yes, dad.” 

“Good, and uh, wear your hat. You know what I'm saying?” 

Dean doubts his dad knows what he's saying, but nods anyway. “Of course, Dad. Is that it?” 

John sighs, “No, there's more,” at least he sounds as distraught as Dean feels. “Eventually, you're going to fall for someone and she's going to make you feel like, well, you already know all about that, _don't you?”_

The name goes unspoken but only because he doesn't need to say it. Fuck. _Fuck_. Dean ponders jumping into the hole because surely, a slow freezing death is better than this. “Dad, _no_.” 

“Tell me what's wrong with her.” Even slurring there's a dangerous edge to John's voice. Dean wonders _why_ his dad cares so much. 

“Nothing,” Dean kicks his shoes against his bench. “She's just, no.” 

“Give me a reason, Dean.” 

His question strikes a chord in Dean, causing him to break. “Because she's _Cas_ , okay!” Dean shouts, “She's Cas! I can't like her, I don't like her! She's a nerd and her eyes are freaky and her hair is…” Dean tries to think of an adjective that accurate describe Cas' mess of a hair. “Too curly.” 

John stares at Dean, “Let me get this straight. You don't want to like Cas because she's smart, has nice eyes and her hair is too curly?” 

“Freaky eyes,” Dean corrects. “Freaky.” They look right through him and can read his mind. _She's like a freaking Jedi_.

John shakes his head, “I feel sorry for you, I really do. Most people go their whole lives looking for the one and you found yours when you were eight and now you're pushin' her away." 

Dean doesn't respond, instead he thinks about his dad's words, trying to think of a valid argument against them. But the only thing he can come up with is he's only fourteen and there's plenty of time.How the hell is his dad so sure Cas is _'the one'_ anyway? 

Dean's dad sighs when Dean voices that last thought, his eyes meeting Dean's as he smiles sadly at Dean. "Because from the minute you met her, you've looked at her the same way I look at your mother. Like you have no idea how a person like her can even exist, let alone why she chooses to be with you. I'm not saying you'll be getting married tomorrow, but do yourself a favor Dean, don't push her out of your life," John looks down at the hole and then at his empty beer cooler.

"We're out," he sighs. "Let's go back to the main house and get some shut eye."

**

Dean's pleasantly surprised when, on Valentine's day his desk cubby is filled with gifts from the girls in his class. Well, most of the girls anyway. There's even a giant heart shaped box from Pamela and when he pops in a lemon cream and smiles at her, she winks back. Next to him, Castiel's desk actually has a few boxes of candy and some cards, but they're unopened. 

“Aren't you going to open your gifts?”

She doesn't even look up from her book. “I had no intention of doing so, no. Do you want them?”

Well if she's not going to eat them, he might as well. “Okay,” he reaches over her and takes the boxes of cinnamon hearts. “What about the cards?” 

“What about them?” 

“Well don't you want to know what they say?” 

Castiel closes her eyes. “Oh I'm sure they're full of 'Castiel, I can't stop thinking about you, I have had a crush on you for a long time, your secret admirer.' I'm not stupid, Dean.”   
  
“Well do you mind if I read them?” Dean has no doubt that Cas is probably right and the whole thing's a big joke, but he's still curious. What if they're _not_ a joke? What if someone actually _does_ like her? He doesn't know how he feels about that. Okay, he knows exactly how he feels about that, and it's not good. 

Castiel tosses him the cards and he opens them. The first one has Superman and Lois Lane flying in the sky and on the inside written in Victor's big handwriting is pretty much just what Cas guessed. Dean wonders what the hell his friend is thinking. The second one however, that's the one that concerns him. It's just a simple handmade card out of red construction paper with Castiel's name written on the front in black marker. Dean opens it up to read. 

“I'm sorry.” 

Castiel frowns. "What?" 

“No, that's what the card says,” Dean shows her, “It says I'm sorry.” He doesn't recognize the handwriting. Castiel looks at it for the briefest of seconds before shrugging. 

“You don't care?” He puts the cards back on her desk. 

“Was it from you or Victor?” Castiel asks, and Dean shakes his head. “Then no, I don't care.” 

“I uh, think he wrote the first one,” Dean tells her, feeling bad that he's telling her this. 

“I'm not surprised,” Castiel says, flipping through her notebook for a blank sheet of paper, “He and Pamela are dating.” 

Dean can't help but feel a tinge of disappointment. He thought Pamela liked him. “Crap.” 

“Oh I'm sure she'll dump him and go for you if you ask,” Castiel tells him and Dean has to do a double take because what the hell is she doing giving him advice about girls like it's _nothing_?   
Let alone giving him advice about going for her personal enemy. 

“Heya, Clarence,” Meg gives her usual greeting as she walks in the room.

"What's up?” 

“My name is Castiel,” she seethes. “Or Cas if you prefer, Not Clarence.” 

Meg just grins at Castiel as she takes her seat. “You get any Valentines, Clarence?” 

There's something dark in Castiel's eyes. “Nothing worth mentioning.” 

Dean doesn't miss the slightly hurt look that passes over Meg's face, but it's gone before he can even think about what it might mean. “How did you know they weren't real Valentines?” 

“Because if they were, the candy would have been grape flavored suckers and the cards would be Batman, not Superman and Lois lane. Truth be told, I'm more insulted by that.”

Dean doesn't get the chance to reply as their teacher walks in. 

Throughout class he finds himself sneaking glances in her direction, noting the little things about her, like how there's a strand of hair that always moves in front of her face and how she listens intently to everything anyone has to say, no matter who's saying it. There are circles under her eyes like she isn't sleeping and her lips look like she's been chewing on them. Dean leans in closer to her, whispering, “Are you okay?” 

She glares at him. “Stop asking stupid questions and pay attention.” 

It's later day when Dean finds himself pushing Victor. “Dude, what the hell?” 

“What?” Victor asks, brushing himself off. 

“You know what,” Dean yells, “That stupid card you got Cas!”

“Hey, she should be thanking me,” Victor says with a smugness that makes Dean wish he pushed him harder. “At least she got something, right?” 

“You're lucky she doesn't kill you,” Dean tells him. “ _Superman_? She freaking hates Superman! _Everyone_ knows that!” 

Victor shrugs, “Whatever. I was just being nice.” 

“ _No_ ,” Dean shakes his head, “You weren‟t.” He goes to walk away when he hears Victor calling him, asking if they're going to hang out that afternoon. The thought just doesn't interest him. He'd rather work on the comic with Chuck. “No,” he calls back. 

It's not the end of Dean and Victor's friendship, not by a long shot. They've been friends for too long for this to mess them up, but as it is, once news gets out that Dean and Victor are fighting, the whole grade seems to have something to say and sides are chosen despite how none of them know what the fight is about. Dean really isn't sure himself. It's not about Cas is it? Because Dean's motto has always been bros before hoes, so obviously it _has_ to be about something else.

“This must suck for you,” Chuck muses that afternoon while they're hanging out in Dean's room, working on their comic. Dean glances up from where he's drawing Cas' eyes, hoping that Chuck isn't going into one of his depression mood again. 

“What must suck?” 

“The two of you, fighting like this. Must suck.” 

Dean shrugs, he and Victor never fight for long. “He'll come around.”

Chuck though, frowns. “I wasn't talking about you and Henrickson.” 

Dean stills, staring at his paper, “I'm fine.” 

“No,” Chuck says with a softness that cuts Dean straight to the core, “ _You're not_. You've been drawing her over and over since we started. You stare at her all the time, and you're always trying to talk to her." Dean searches for an explanation, something that will make these behaviors make some sort of sense, but he has nothing. All he has is this stupid Cas shaped hole in his heart. 

_Fuck his life_

_***_

Dean considers himself an atheist, but he's pretty sure there's some cosmic force out there that hates him. This becomes obvious at the end of March when the weather gets warmer.

At first when Dean takes his seat next to Cas he thinks she looks normal, frazzled hair, cardigan sweater.

He doesn't think much of it. He shoots an absent hello in her direction as he takes out his late homework. “Do you know the answer to nu-” the rest of the question dies on his lips when he turns to her. She's taken off her sweater and all that's there is a dress held up with just two thin strips of fabric and leaves no part of her figure to the imagination. 

“Nu?” Cas questions, head tilting and curls falling in her face. _Fine_. Whatever, she's pretty.

She's _still_ weird though. 

“Lookin good, Clarence,” Meg pops her gum as she sits in the usually vacant seat behind them. 

“That dress new?” 

“Meg,” Cas sighs. “What do you want?”

“Nothing, babe,” Meg winks at Cas who just rolls her eyes and looks back at what she was doing. Meg starts talking to another classmate and all the other kids keep trickling into the classroom. Dean though, _can't_ stop staring at Cas. 

The school year goes on and Victor and Dean make up, just like they always do and things are good, for the most part, Cas continues to wear those stupid clothes and invade his thoughts.

It's pure torture. Everything reminds him of her, even his mother's meatloaf and mashed potatoes. 

"How was school today, Dean?" Mary asks while Dean stabs at his peas with his fork. He doesn't remember anything other than her. 

"Fine." 

"Learn anything new?" John queries.

Dean glares at his plate. Oh, he learned _a lot_ today, that's for sure. He learned Balthazar's dad's some big shot art dealer and he was raised in _Paris_ and likes languages, just like Cas and they're going to get married and have stupid blue eyed, blonde haired babies. Okay so she didn't say the last part, but it was definitely _implied_. Dean wants to punch Batty in his stupid, smug face. "No."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! 😊  
> This story was supposed to be a little angstier since i wanted to write Cas dating Balthazar for awhile but after that finale i just wanted to write fluff so i'm sorry if this feels rushed!

_Few months later_

“Do you have that controller I gave you?”

Dean closes his locker and turns to Cas, but he doesn't see Cas, class nerd, he sees _Cas_ , love of his freaking life. Suddenly he gets what his dad and everyone else has been talking about. “Uh, yeah, but I don't think it's usable anymore, why?” Her shoulders slump.

“No reason. We just need an extra controller for Balthazar.”

Balthazar this, Balthazar that. Dean's sick and tired about always hearing about that guy. “And you say there's nothing going on.” 

Cas gives Dean an odd look he can't make out, “Dean, there's nothing going on. For one thing, he's far too much of a hedonist for my tastes and second, I'm fourteen, I don't want to date yet.” 

Suddenly Dean feels stupid. “I…knew that.” 

She rolls her eyes, “Right, so you don't have it?” 

“No but um, I can probably fix it. Give me a couple days.” 

She smiles softly, making Dean's insides feel like they're turning into gush. After she walks away, Dean slams his locker closed only to find Victor on the other side of it, arm wrapped around Pam's shoulder.

“How much of that did you hear?” It's shocking, but in that moment, something changes in Dean.   
He no longer cares what Victor or Pam or anyone else thinks. 

“Enough,” Victor replies, voice even. 

“You know she's a loser right?” Pam asks, sending a glare in the direction Cas walked away. 

Dean ignores her though and focuses on his actual friend who finally relents. 

“Yeah, whatever man,” Victor shrugs and puts out his fist. Dean hits it with his own. Pam rolls her eyes and walks away, but Dean doesn't care. He's done trying to placate the so called cool crowd. 

A rumor quickly spreads about Dean and Cas being a couple that day and by the next morning everyone's eyes are on his as Dean enters the room. “Uh, hey?” he asks, throwing is bag down next to his desk. 

“They believe you and I are dating,” Castiel says, not looking up from her textbook, though if Dean has to guess she's probably reading a Batman comic again. 

“Um, huh?” 

“Yes,” she rolls her eyes, “I have been regaled with inane questions all morning about our _"secret love affair"_

she looks over at Pam and her friends, “As if I would ever date you.” 

Dean can't help but feel insulted by this. “Wait, you wouldn't date me?” She loves him. She's always loved him. He loves her. She makes him want to puke rainbows and to hear she doesn't feel the same way kills him.

***

After school, Dean walks into the kitchen just in time to hear Sam whining to their mom, pulling on her shirt as she cooks dinner. 

“And I told you, you're too young to see an R rated movie,” Mary replies, side stepping Sam easily to go to the fridge. “Dean, set the table. It's just us three tonight.” 

“Okay,” Dean says, going over to the cabinet to get three plates, “Dad working?” 

“Yes,” Mary says, taking out the overcooked casserole, “You know what, screw it, let's go out for Chinese.” 

“Awesome!” Sam yells, running out of the kitchen to go upstairs for his shoes. Mary calls after him though to do take a bath first. Dean puts the plates back and turns to go only to find his mother staring right at him. 

“We need to talk.” 

Dean gulps, “Mom, Dad and I already had the talk.” There's no way he's going through that again.

Mary just points to the table, “Sit.” 

Dean sighs and sits down in the seat is Dad usually sits in. Mary doesn't sit, but leans against the counter. “Tell me what's wrong.” 

“Nothing.” 

“Dean, you and I both know that isn's true, so tell me, what's wrong.” When Dean doesn't answer right away, Mary sighs, “Okay, I get it. You're fourteen, your hormones are going crazy and I understand that. It's natural. This behavior though, it's new. So what is it? got a bad grade?” 

“No.”

“Well you haven't been in any fights at school,” Mary says, “Outside of school?” 

“No, mom,” Dean sighs. “It's nothing.” 

“Is it a girl?” Mary guesses and even though Dean doesn't acknowledge her, Mary still hits her hand on the sink and say, “That's it. I should have known. Let me guess, you like a girl and you asked her out and she said no.” 

That wasn't exactly what happened. “No.” 

Mary pulls out the chair next to Deans and sits down. “But I'm close, aren't I? Dean, I know you want people to like you, but as you go through life, you're going to find that there are some people who do and some who, well, they just don't and you can't force them to. All you can do is stay true to the people who do"

Dean traces the patterns in the wood with his finger. “What if it's uh, someone who used to like you but doesn't anymore?” 

“Well then in that case, you need to figure out what it was that caused the rift. Although, sometimes, people just grow apart. There's nothing wrong with that,” Mary assures him. But when Dean thinks about it, he realizes he doesn't want to grow apart from Cas. The thought of waking up one morning and not seeing or speaking to her makes Dean's stomach tighten. As it is, the only times he's actually happy anymore are when they're talking in home room or messing around on the comic with Chuck or when he's building stupid toys for Sam to mess around with.

He wishes he knew what was going on in her head, but it's impossible to tell where she's concerned. All Dean can really think about is how happy they were before he went and fucked it all up. At least he made the right choice today, that has to count for something right?

***

“Okay kids, we're playing softball today!” Coach Deacon shouts. “Team captains are Victor and Castiel, ”There's a collective murmur of disapproval and when Dean looks over, he sees Cas smirking. 

Dear god, she's going to kill them. Knowing her, it will not be a swift death. 

They flip a coin to decide who gets to choose first. Cas calls tails and sure enough, it lands eagle side up on the teacher's hand. 

“Dean,” she says, giving Victor a look that clearly says, _do something about it_. Dean just shrugs and goes to stand next to Cas. Maybe this means she's not mad at him anymore? a guy can hope. 

“Chuck.”

“Luther.”   
  
There's a collective silence as even Luther looks surprised someone actually picked him. 

“Lisa.” 

“Jo.” 

“Richie.” 

“Ronald.” 

It goes on from there until finally the last person's picked and they walk outside to do the coin toss that'll decide who's batting first. Victor wins, sending Cas' team to the field.

Everyone starts going to their usual positions when Castiel yells at them to stop. 

“Ronald,” she yells, “You're pitching, Dean go to the center field, Caleb, right field, Jo, first base,” One by one she puts her team into position. Once satisfied everyone is where she wants them, she takes her position as short stop. Ronald though, just stands at the pitcher's mound, clearly terrified. Cas marches up to him, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear. 

“What is it?” 

“I've never pitched before.” 

Castiel stares Ronald in the eyes and Dean feels both bad and jealous at the poor kid. He knows exactly what it's like to have those eyes stare right into yours. “Do you know why you've never pitched before, Ronald?” 

“Um, because I'm not good at it?” Ronald guesses. 

“No,” Cas' voice rises even more and damn if she doesn't sound like his father whenever he's going on one of his tirades about his room not being clean. “You haven't pitched because no one has let you. I am. I've seen you throw and you're far better than they wish you to believe.” 

Ronald doesn't look reassured and Dean doesn't actually blame him. As though sensing Ronald's hesitation, Castiel puts her hand on his shoulder and forces him to look at her. “I will make a deal with you, Ronald,” Castiel says, looking him in the eye, “You pitch, I will come to your house this weekend and play Dungeons and Dragons like you keep asking.” 

“Deal.” 

Their team is surprisingly good, once given the chance to play where their skills are best used and not where someone else tells them to. She's right. Ronald is a good pitcher, once he gets over his nerves. 

The real surprise though isn't how good they are, but how bad the other team is. Sure, the guys are alright, but the girls would much rather stand around and talk than actually play. In the end, when Cas' team wins, she congratulates her team mates, something they never used to do, and then she stops at him. 

“We need to talk, Dean.” 

Dean meets her by the bike racks after school that day. While he waits for her to unchain her bike, Victor calls his name, gesturing to come to the bus. Dean shakes head and Victor looks back and forth at him and Cas before shrugging. They walk together, not speaking until they get to the park. She chains her bike up again and then leads Dean through the woods to a mossy log that overlooks a small stream. 

“I found this place last year,” she explains, sitting down. Dean sits next to her and watches the stream for a minute before he picks up a pebble and throws it in. He doesn't know what to say to her though. He doubts "I want to stick my tongue down your throat‟ will be appreciated. 

“Do you know why I chose you today?” 

“Because you wanted to kill me?” Because she's been killing him _all freaking year_.

“If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it a long time ago,” Castiel says, seriously. “No, I wanted you on my team because I thought I was okay with being a loser, but I'm not. I'm tired of losing everything important to me and that includes you.” 

“You're not a loser,” Dean tells her, “You're probably the coolest girl in school and uh, you didn't lose me. I mean, I guess you did but uh, I'm sorry ok? and I'm here now, I don't know what I'm trying to say.”

“I know what you're trying to say,” Castiel assures Dean, kissing his cheek again and once again, Dean has to still himself from letting his hormones take over and kissing her right there. "and i forgive you"

Dean doesn't know what to say except _"i fucking love you" so_ he bumps her shoulder with his instead, gaining a soft smile in return.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? I would love to hear from you!


End file.
